I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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