Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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