Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
