I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
