Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
