Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
