my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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