I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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