google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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