i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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