I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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