you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
