Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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