Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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