is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
