you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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