it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
