I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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