you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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