just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
