Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
