David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
