I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
