did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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