My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In other news, I just burned my penis
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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