TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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