I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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