how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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