Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
