I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
