Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
