my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
