It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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