i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
