i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
