I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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