so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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