5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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