Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
