I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
