you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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