Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
