When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
