She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
