She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
