One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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