id be glad to
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
In America we eat man semen.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
