New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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