Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
