I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
