can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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