Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
