My liver just broke up with me...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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